I did not want to write this. This one wasn’t so fun. I’m not a fan of admitting defeat.

While narcissistically attending U of M’s final, misery-inducing, cold, home game (during which it was somehow simultaneously raining and snowing which served to simultaneously dampen my six layers of clothing and my spirits) of Michigan’s worst season since football and academia became so inexplicably and intricately involved, I received a phone call from Tahiti Green. He informed me that I lost. Apparently, the Texans had won.

Now, just to answer this call, I had to attempt to feel my fingers, peel my cell phone from my jean pocket, and assume my phone would become instantly water damaged before I even placed the receiver to my not quite dew, but not quite frost covered face. Did I mention it was wet out? And once I heard the awful news, I felt soaked with grief. My alma mater lost, my West Coast schools lost, and I lost.

But I can’t help but feel a bigger loss. Although it fit into a compact space, it has left a semi-truck sized hole in my being. I miss my Aveo5. Maybe if Oregon’s Rani had won (which I’m still demeaningly dumbfounded over. A 1% margin of victory? Recount anyone?), I might have felt comfort by sort of bequeathing of my Aveo5 to a contestant that I got to know, however brief. Eh, probably not.

I am experiencing serious Aveo5 withdrawal: I’m thumbing the side of my steering wheel for phantom cruise-control and radio-tuning buttons that don’t exist; I’m glancing at the radio to look for the music’s artist/song name only to be reminded once again of the local radio station’s numerical title. And, worst of all, I’m finding myself at the gas pump much more frequently than I like—which is never. Initially, I wasn’t sure what they meant by “tall car” design, but now I realize I’m sitting lower in other compacts, adding to my newfound, Aveo5-free sulkiness. Truth be told, I miss that ’09 Aveo5. It was a little car—quaint even—but it had everything I needed. And the women. Oh, the women.

I want to send out a genuine thanks to everyone that contributed to this contest. I had a wonderful time seeing the country and meeting interesting college students. And here’s an even more special thanks to everyone who actually read my blog. Thanks.

]]> http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?feed=rss2&p=184 http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?p=181 http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?p=181#comments Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:38:02 +0000 admin http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?p=181 Just wanted to give another behind the scenes look from the driver’s seat.

Well, the come from behind win from Arielle S. and Katie T. was a surprise and so was their answer to my question. I asked it though so I guess I got an answer, and apparently it was a good one, because everyone seemed to like it.

Like many of the videos, the girls just jumped in the car for the free stuff, like any good college student would. It was the first school, and I wasn’t feeling very creative at the moment, so I used my book o’ conversation starters as a crutch. I had not used it up to that point I don’t think, so I pulled the question I liked the most and hoped would get a response other than “I would like to fly,” because I mean who wouldn’t?

“What would your super power be?”

Well of course, I could see this answer coming from a guy, but I guess girls’ minds tend to wander too.

I mean who wouldn’t want to see through a guys’ pants. Oh wait, that would be me, but to each their own, and it’s just not fair to the guy at any given time. So, of course the sidekick needs the power to make it warm all the time.

I’m glad I wasn’t wearing see through pants at the moment though, that would have just made it much more awkward than the conversation already was.

There’s still time to all of my schools! Don’t forget to vote at the end of watching! There’s still a lot of time left, so don’t worry about the numbers.

My pride is on the line. And I’m honestly quite nervous. Tahiti Green’s videos get a lot of views. His three finalist videos average 31,440 views while mine average 21,265 views. Granted, I understand that my contestants are regularly attending class and volunteering at local food shelters while Tahiti Green’s participants are avoiding their studies to watch their videos late into the night.

So I’d like to take to this wholly impartial web log to do some unbiased commentary on each of the six videos. I’ll give a little background on the videos from the West Coast schools, but to be fair, I’m going to have to fictionalize incredibly inaccurate background stories for each of Tahiti Green’s finalists’ videos as well. Here we go:

San Jose State University – Alvin W. and Domingo C.

I picked these guys up outside of the San Jose Blind Children’s Center. They had just spent their Saturday morning teaching brail to visually impaired youth. They actually call Domingo Curious George because he occasionally wears a fur-covered monkey suit while reading Curious George to the children. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the suit was somewhat senseless, except perhaps tactilely. It’s fairly obvious from the video, but Alvin does a lot of work with eating disorders, particularly with young women. Going contrary to the media’s unhealthy depiction of the unattainable, skin and bone super models, he’s actively trying to create a new, realistic ideal for the female physique. He advocates women to eat better (bacon, butter) and be proud of their fuller, buxom figure, especially in the donk area: having a full donk is a sure sign for a healthy diet. And he’s always ready to consciously improve a woman’s self-image with his carefully employed Oooo-ooooo! Even when he has the chance to win a car.

University of Maryland – Focused Voyeurs

I thought this video started out innocent enough: just two girls with a naively limited world scope going for a peer-pressured ride with a complete stranger. But then their scope gets even more pointed, so to speak. Here it is, yet again, a video about women objectifying men. The passengers could have chosen any supernatural ability whatsoever: healing the sick, time travel, [the ability to] instantly win an Aveo5, or even X-ray vision without such restrained stipulations. What else could they be looking at? They’re x-raying those boys’ pants to see one thing: their pocket books. That’s right, their girthy wallets; and the bigger, the better. It’s apparent that size really does matter. They’re doing some “preshopping” so that they can get down to the real shopping. And, I’m sorry, Katie, but global warming is not a super power. It’s a real concern.

University of Washington – Francis R. and Rollie W.

Genius. Pure genius. I don’t know how many record-label execs are watching this video (maybe 7 or 10 I’m guessing), but these guys are getting a contract. We can start the bidding at a milli each. And as soon as their platinum single, “Free Foolin’, ” dominates the hip-hop scene, we’ll easily transition them into a spin-off sitcom. It’ll be a modern day Odd Couple. Hilarity is bound to ensue when a fully Lycra-clad stripper firefighter and tightly vestmented, ordained priest are living in the same downtown loft. It could be called, “Burning Devotion,” “Hot Under the Collar,” or how about “Stairway to Heaven; Pole to Hell.” But these are just working titles and we’re open to suggestions. It’ll be like Heaven and Hell meets, disagrees, and finally learns something from one another over a 24-minutes segment week to week, for all eternity! Hallelujah!

University of South Florida – Belle and Gaston

Terrible. This is just terrible.

University of Oregon – Rani A.

I picked up Rani while he was waiting for the bus, like so many sitting Ducks at U of O. I’m sure you’ve noticed his sincere grin on his video’s thumbnail: daring, luring, beckoning you to watch his video. However, this come-hither smile is not meant for enticement. Sorry ladies, Rani is actually married to a wonderful woman enrolled in Dentistry School in Saudi Arabia. Hence the enamoring enamel. Rani is cutting his teeth on American culture while including some of his own. And what’s more American than a chance to win a free Chevy? And now that he’s set his teeth on winning this contest, he’s really put the bite on everyone else.

University of Houston – Sammy K. and Wilsam N.

Heath Ledger who? This guy’s the real Joker. He totally had me confused with that whole McCain bit. Needless to say, I was thoroughly entertained with this video. It felt like I was watching the much-anticipated third installment in Nolan’s Batman series, only a little longer. When these guys win the Aveo5’s, that dude can sell his BMW and purchase a home gym.

I hope that this straight forward, no nonsense, purely factual propaganda will help you to make the right decision (that being any video from the West Coast schools). I really want that 30-minute back rub I bet Tahiti Green.

]]> http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?feed=rss2&p=179 http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?p=176 http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?p=176#comments Tue, 11 Nov 2008 13:49:54 +0000 admin http://blog.aveolivinlarge.com/?p=176 I like what I see here, my schools are almost all in the lead!

These were some of the best videos from each school, and I’m psyched for all of the campuses that are getting behind each school’s winner.

I think one of the funniest stories behind the video is the South Florida video. It was the first night I was there, and I was driving by the flag football event. This girl was flagging me down and really wanted to do the video, but her boyfriend didn’t want to, so the boyfriend’s brother got in the car and took one for the team. Little did he know that they were destined for Internet stardom. They couldn’t decide what to do at first, so I made a few suggestions, and somehow they came up with this Jerry Springer-esque moment. At first I thought we were going to need a warning that it wasn’t real, because it looked pretty real, and I think a lot of people thought it was. It was fun to get involved with the skit too, working on my acting skills (Hollywood here I come… ok maybe not).

So, after some good editing like any good talk show fight, the video came out pretty believable, but funny to me.

Check back tomorrow and I’ll share my experience about another one of the videos, to get a little story behind the story.

PS Nate, I didn’t forget about the Green vs. Grey Aveo battle!

Although I think UW was beautiful, I honestly had the most difficult time getting my rides in here. On day one, I’m ashamed to write, I only got 6 of my 10 rides in. That’s 60%. That’s a D minus! I failed. And from that day on (yes, day uno), I never quite got into a groove. I was hesitant. I doubted myself. I couldn’t stare people in the eyes and will them to take a ride. I found myself degraded: whoring out my free t-shirts to students only interested in using me for a “new workout shirt.” Oh, and they took all my good sizes; leaving me with only the XLs; forcing me to give actual participants t-shirts better suited for table clothes. (This isn’t a knock on anyone who wears XL. I wish I did, because then I would feel more American. Vote.)

Anyhow, I had to make it up for day one. I got all my rides. I would just get a couple more each day. I had all week to do so, but, still, I had a tough time. Then I got sick.

I ended up meeting my ride quota for the rest of the week, each day barely getting in that last ride before it became too dark. I even got in 11 a few times, but I still never achieved my objective of 70 rides (which simply results in better odds for everyone who did go for a ride).

On the tenth ride of my last day, about my 205^th ride, when I dropped off my “last” student at her dorm, I was flooded with a muddle of mixed emotions. Relief: I had gotten in my tenth and final ride! Excitement: I was done! But was I? Uncertainty: Am I done? Should I try to get in another make-up ride? Is there enough daylight to get one? Should I have used my extra daylight saving’s hour to get in rides instead of sleep? (Nahh.) Dread: I’m now, once again… unemployed! (Well, once I arrive back in Michigan, go figure.) Grateful: I had a great time. This was an awesome experience. I would do it again. And I’m truly excited to see what’s going to happen next.

I’ll just take the end on this blog to remind everyone to vote. This is likely the first time you’ve been told this. But it’s important. Yes, even your vote makes a difference. Because of your vote, for the next four years, students will be driving around in a ’09 Aveo5. Actually, even longer than the next four years! These vehicles are built to last. You can even register the day of! I even heard that—today only—if you tell Starbucks that you plan on voting for your favorite Aveo5 College Cab vid, they’ll give you a cup of my favorite Joe: “Joe the coffee.” And, as everyone knows, the Electoral College (you have six to chose from!) vote is the one that matters, not the popular (most viewed) vote.

I’m now off on another 9 hour trip to Bismarck, North Dakota. I heard their pancake mix is delicious.

Sweet Home. Yes that was the only thing I could think of after driving 12 hours a day for 2 days straight over 1,500 miles and I think 6,000 total. After a whirlwind tour of the University of Houston, shooting 70 videos in three days, I was burnt out. It was a blast working with the students who helped me and making so many videos in a day I couldn’t remember half of them.  While I had a lot of fun, I was ready to get on the road. So after spending half the night before I left converting videos and uploading them to the editors I finally got to sleep.

The next morning I packed up and hit the road. It wasn’t until I was about an hour down I-10 heading east into Louisiana that it really hit me that the real work was over and that I was heading home for the first time in over a month.

It’s a strange thing not having a place to call home for 6 weeks of your life. Meeting new people, making new friends, eating out somewhere different every night of the week and heading back to a hotel room at the end of the night; it was all a lot of fun, but I don’t know if I could handle that as a permanent lifestyle, though I know some people enjoy such a dynamic lifestyle.

I got to go and see places I’ve never seen and do something that, well I guess myself and Nate will only get to do in a lifetime.  Along the way I stopped in College Park Maryland, Washington DC, Richmond Virginia, Naples and Tampa Florida, Mobile Alabama, Houston and Austin Texas. I had been to 2 of those places before, Naples and Tampa. I also got to stop by and visit a friend in flight training school for the Navy in Pensacola, FL. It was great to stop by and see people I knew along the way. After visiting all of those cities, I can’t wait to go back to every single one of them. All of them had a ton to offer to anyone who wanted to visit.

I also made so many new friends, who I hope to continue my relationships with. The students who helped me at all three schools were some of the most fun and hard working individuals I have ever met. They helped me reach my goals, which without them I could have never done on my own.  I can’t wait to see them again at some point in the future.  To my PRSSA and AMA helpers at all of the schools, I give a standing ovation to all of you on your work, and put me down for a reference if you ever need one!

However, it is good to be home. Luckily I brought some of the warm weather back and have a few days of nice cycling weather left it seems!

I’ll be sure to post some pictures from around home here for those who have followed my journey along the way.

Signing off from the Tahiti Green Aveo,

Chris

I just wanted to thank everyone at U-Dub who participated in the promotion, and even the students who politely let me tell them why I was offering them a free ride. Of the three campuses I had the pleasure of escorting students around, in my opinion, UW was the most beautiful. Following along a path that runs through the center of campus, buildings have an ornate, studious European quality to them. The path eventually leads to a huge, circular geyser-like fountain with the picturesque Mount Rainier centered as a backdrop. It’s amazing. And all this coupled with the full force of fall colors splashing color along the rolling hills of the supposed Evergreen State. I really appreciate how urban the campus is as well, creating a distinct U-District in this substantial port city.

Unfortunately, along with all the thrills of the fall, so comes the flu and cold season, and I fell ill. This was a real bummer. Seattle gets a lot of great bands and has plenty of activates going on throughout the week, but I was wiped out. I spent most my evenings trying to sleep-off the germs. I’m still not up to full health. I just hope the 600-mile drive I have ahead of me today will help with my health. Who knows, maybe I’m just home sick at this point? And the closer I get, the better I’ll feel. But I doubt it, especially because I felt at home in Seattle. (Well, as much as one can feel while living out of a hotel.) This is a place where I could see myself living—hopefully with better health.

Seattle is known for its coffee. And I’m taking full advantage: Almost too full of advantage. See, I like coffee. I’m a “fill ‘er to the top, no room for cream” black-coffee drinker. And since I’ve been living out of hotels the past month, free coffee is as regular as rain in Seattle. However, similar to other popular beverages, the more I drink, the more I need to get that same kick.

You may be thinking, “We’ve all bean there. Welcome to the real daily grind.” Or maybe even, “This is trite nonsense. Who thinks in puns?” But let me remind you, I don’t work in an office with all the amenities. I work in an Aveo5. And of all the fine features included in the ’09 Aveo5 (OnStar, XM radio, it rides a little higher or something), there is one that it is lacking: a restroom. It’s not an RV; it’s a compact car.

So while my tolerance for caffeine has increased, alas, my (evidently equally compact) bladder size has not. I’ve found that I’m suffering from frequent micturation. AKA, I have to pee. A lot. Coffee pours right through me. (I know we all don’t like to discuss/read/believe that we all urinate, but this isn’t a season of 24. The most pressing countdown in my day is the people standing in front of me in the line for the bathroom. Well, as Everyone Nose, at least the girls[1].) And finding a pubic restroom is really an inconvenience.

The first obstacle is finding a street-parking spot midday in urban Seattle. Most the time, the best place to find a public facility is in a café. Thankfully, as mentioned earlier, Seattle has plenty. However, in order to use a customer-only facility, I’m stuck purchasing another drink. And I think we can all see where this is going: A typically visceral cycle is becoming a vicious circle.

It appears I’ve developed an acute case of OAB (Over Active Bladder). So, for the time being, I’m stuck trying to imagine vast deserts and doing kegel exercises, because there’s no way I’m giving up my skim double grande mocha with extra foam. I’m an addict.